Social Media
I think I’m addicted to certain social media, and I’m doing something about it.
I’ve written a few times about recovery over the past few months as I’ve gotten a year sober from alcohol, but one thing I haven’t talked about are other outlets I’ve turned to in the past that were unhealthy or self-destructive.
Today I made a pros / cons list for keeping an account on X (formerly Twitter), and after some brainstorming a lot of the same threads that came back from understanding my recovery came into very clear frame.
Defining Addiction
I think before I talk about how social media fits into the picture, it’s important to define addiction. As someone who just googled addiction and its definition, I can tell you that what’s online is kind of bullshit and over medicalized. A very simple definition of an addiction that I like better:
A behavior with negative consequences which when someone starts they do not know when they will stop
The first thing I did as part of this exercise was to try to see if I fit this criteria.
The pros and cons were for keeping an account on X, but after writing them down the consequences where clear as day to me:
Anxious when I log in and scroll content
This lasts for up to a day after I delete the app
Rage bait
No engagement, bot account followers
I’m basically de platformed as a creator via the last bullet
The loss of control was also apparent. I can have periods of abstinence, but eventually I find a reason to re-download the app and log back in even though I never have messages to check after the fact. The answer to if I qualify was easy: the consequences are restlessness / anxiety and when I start I don’t know when I’ll stop scrolling.
How did it get this way?
I’ve been on the internet long enough to notice a pattern, first platforms start strongly with community then as they monetize they start selling content and in the case of X (formerly Twitter) they’re selling news media. This isn’t a bad thing! Over time though it turns the place into one that feels like a dependency where you need to know what’s happening (which sucks you back in) and then feeds you toxic media to sell you ads or whatever. I’ve been the sucker still hoping I can find my community!
Community and Addiction are on Opposite Sides of the Same Spectrum
The solution to addiction isn’t “mental health“ or otherwise - it’s connection. What’s so divisive about how these companies monetize is that they take people’s source of online community (which for a long time on X was so incredible) and turn it into a place that stokes fear and hooks you - fuck that.
A (not so) hidden social media addiction epidemic
There’s a lot in the media about teenagers and social media, but it’s bad for adults too. There are a lot of downstream “mental health“ effects from social media which are really just correlated with people on average being more afraid. We’re all addicts, sometimes in small ways, sometimes in bigger ones, in one way or another. Social media is accepted because on average the consequences are lower than other escapist methods, but the result is we just shifted our vices, not solved the root cause.
Social media as a vicious cycle
Social media has the same need to control a feeling, just with a different nexus than alcohol, that included less destructive but potentially more miserable consequences. Most of addiction is escapism - when you put mind altering substances in your body, you change how you feel (presumably to get out of a bad feeling). Social media is the same - you’re consuming something (content) in order to change the way you feel in the moment. The mechanism of uncomfortable feeling —> controlling that feeling is the same, just different means and slightly different outcomes. The way to change it is to get out of yourself, spend some time with other people.
In some ways I think social media addiction is worse because of how it impacts the rest of your life in sneaky ways - not showing up with friends, not connecting, and feeling ever more alone and disconnected. For kids (and adults) in this place it’s a hard way to live life.
Is abstinence the solution?
As I’m writing this, the idea of deleting it feels hard - it means surrendering some control over what I thought I had over reputation, social circles etc. The problem is that I already surrendered that stuff when the algorithm changed, my mind and body just haven’t caught up. I’ve tested over and over and I can’t use the mainstream social media (X, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok) without spending too much of my life scrolling, so I’m just not going to do it.
I think that when you know that about yourself and internalize it you can make this decision in good faith. I think I’m early (one of the first of my friend to do this) but I also think I’m right and I think over the next ~5 years we’re going to see more people do the same. I did all of the rationalization I can, and decided that my professional network is such regardless of this platform and that all it ever did was serve my ego. Enough of my life spent, I’m deactivating my X account today, for good.
This is a completely different stance I would take on the internet at large - I’m still more optimistic than ever for the internet to change lives, as long as you don’t spend your time in a “bar“ or “casino.“ Good luck and lots of love to those reading.