Even for the most successful companies (or products), there are very long periods during their history that they’re “ugly“ in the way that no one is interested, the founders might be a little embarrassed, and most customers, investors, and employees are turned away. There’s a famous chart of the emotional rollercoaster that startups are, which describes an initial wave of hype and excitement followed by a long stretch of low energy, despair, and maybe bits of hope, followed by a gradual accent towards “success” which I’ve edited to demonstrate where the ugly baby phase exists:
Most companies die during this period, but it’s also the period where most of the value is built, insights are learned, and resilience is formed. Unfortunately, I’ve had a lot of ugly babies, so I know this phase a little too well. I found myself back there with a toy thing I’ve been hacking on in my free time today, so I thought I’d write about loving ugly babies.
Founders make the same mistakes as people do as parents: sometimes they hover and try to force the company to be what they want it to be, sometimes they don’t listen to where the company is headed and act out of self-interest rather than what’s best for the company, sometimes founders even neglect their company when they don’t want to own it’s imperfections, and others love, support, and allow the company to grow how it’s supposed to. Being a parent is a hard job, and I don’t blame them. It’s just human.
There’s a component to working on companies which requires unconditional love to let the company be what it’s going to be without forcing it to be what you want it to be — just like kids, sometimes companies surprise you and become something bigger and better than you’d ever imagine, despite their creators. The more experienced you become as an entrepreneur, the more you start to let go of the outcomes, especially towards the beginning of a company lifecycle. Some kids are happy working 9-5, some are artists, and some are superstars. It’s not for us to decide but it is our job to guide, support, and grow whatever the company is supposed to be.
I’m grateful for all of the companies I’ve ever worked on because they have all taught me things, become their own in tons of unique ways regardless of the control I tried to take over the outcomes. I think a few I loved a little too much, and I didn’t let become what they were supposed to be, while others could have used a little more time and attention to accomplish their full potential.
One thing I’ve done recently is stop putting my identity in companies or outcomes, but instead let them be their own thing and be happy for the idea or project in the outcome it achieves. I’ve learned that ugly babies grow up regardless so it’s worth loving them for who they are, and not who you want them to be.